How to Gain Influence by Taking Initiative in Day-to-Day Situations

A mental model to become more assertive and influential

Rasmus Ursem
5 min readJul 25, 2020
Courtesy of cottonbro (pexels.com)

My palms are getting sweaty as I knock on the door to my boss’ office. The smile on her face reassures me that it is a good day to bring up the idea I have been working on for some time. During a bit of small-talk, I pick up little signs and decide how assertive I should be to get my project approved. I know it is a lot to ask, but I have to try…

You probably know similar situations from your work or private sphere where you need someone’s approval to achieve something or agree on a decision that will affect the both of you. We face many small and large interactions like this every day.

The circle of influence and the circle of concern

In his seminal book The 7 habits of highly effective people, Stephen R. Covey introduces Habit 1 — be proactive and writes about the difference between the reactive and the proactive person. Covey introduces the circle of influence and circle of concern as a mental model of how the two personalities interact with their surroundings. In short, the reactive person has a small circle of influence as outer circumstances set his agenda. In contrast, the proactive person constantly seeks to expand her…

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Rasmus Ursem
Rasmus Ursem

Written by Rasmus Ursem

Computer & data scientist, writer, thinker, photographer, and generally curious about life and the wet matter between our ears — in short, I’m a poly-geek :-)